THE shame

17 May

woke up this morning with a familiar feeling. A particular brand of shame ( my friend and I call it the Shame) which always catches up with me the morning after a night of particularly cringe-inducing drunken exploits. Funny it never ACCOMPANIES said exploits-i wish it did, if it had the decency to show up on time i would cease and desist. Instead it comes over me twelve hours later, waving an accusing, finger, making me curse my lack of sense and self control when the damage has already been done.

The worst part is that lately i’ve been making a conscious effort to avoid falling into the dreaded shame trap. I was concentrating on drinking to be merry-not messy and trying to suppress those awful urges to ‘get my bit’ while hammered…unfortunately last night i threw all such caution to the wind and now i can’t shake this awful sense of dread and disgust…just weighing me down

Fortunately time heals all wounds…even self inflicted shamey ones. it’s now about twenty four hours later and i’m finally able to look in the mirror again without pulling a frustrated face..Must continue in my attempt to beat the shame by taking preventative measures.

My tips for no shame:

1.DON’T buy more drink than you think you’ll need…EVER!Even if you find yourself sober if you’re actually enjoying the night it shouldn’t matter. If you start to think ‘wow i’m really not drunk enough’ then the real problem is probably that you aren’t having enough fun and drinking more isn’t going to change that. I know I sound like a poster girl for Drink Aware but it’s true. Alcohol is great for livening you up when you’re already in good form but if you aren’t it tends to make things worse, not only will you still feel low another two drinks later but you’ll be (a) much less adept at sexy dancing (b) much more likely to fall/mill yourself/make a massive mistake of some kind and DISGRACE yourself. When you’re on the sober side even if you aren’t having the absolute bant, at least you’re less likely to say and do things that you don’t mean and have to deal with the consequences when you get a flashback a few days later.

2. There can be certain people in our lives whose presence will increase our capacities for shame-making behaviour. Whether it’s an ex you haven’t quite stopped kissing, a crush, a bad influence or just somebody you really don’t like your mental wellbeing the following morning depends on you avoiding such people like the plague (this will be alot easier if you’ve been moderate in your drink consumption-see above tip). Before going out consider who is going to which club and factor that into your decision making. Tell yourself as you’re drinking that if you DO see such and such that you will not allow yourself to be influenced or give them any opportunity  to get a rise out of you.

3. Don’t go out if extremely tired or hungry-this stuff is kinda basic.

4.Go out with people who you’re comfortable with and who you always have fun with, that will reduce the likelihood of you drinking waaaaaaaaaaaay too much AND thus the likelihood of you making an absolute state of yourself.

Silly drink….

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